My Sanctified Marriage

My marriage is sacred. Not because of my wedding (I was married by the local magistrate). But because of our love for each other. That is the way a marriage should be. A love that is bonded beyond words. A love that is strong enough to not be threatened by any external forces.

There is a lot of talk these days about saving the sanctity of marriage. But what is the "Sanctity of Marriage"? Conservatives would argue that it is simply one man and one woman. I would argue that it is the union of two souls loving each other faithfully until the day one of them dies.

Since conservative weddings almost always include the "until death do we part", shouldn't that vow be of an utmost sin if breached? It is a promise to God to love, honor, and respect your spouse, faithfully, through good and bad, until death. Shouldn't breaking those vows be the biggest threat to the sanctity of marriage. They are showing all future generations that it is okay to vow to God and then just conveniently forget about that promise when it no longer is of service.

Take these examples: Rush Limbaugh.... married FOUR times (one of which lasted something like 18 days). Newt Gingrich...married THREE times (the current is the result of an expected affair while married to the 2nd). Donald Trump...married THREE times (he trades in for younger models). Three of the most outspoken conservatives and they all have broken this covenant with God.

And then we have the people that are against it because the bible says it is wrong. Yet the same book of the Bible specifically  says, no pork. None. Not a bite. No pork chops. No bacon. No ham. Which is interesting. Leviticus says no ham. Yet these people against gay rights have no problem with Easter Ham. The bible equates the seriousness of the offense with being gay. Yet people use it to celebrate Jesus's rebirth. Soooooo, not only is it a sin, it is sacrilegious as well.

No place in the bible does it say that gay people can not marry. And comedians would say that the best ways to keep a gay couple from having sex is to let them get married.

(And I'm not saying that all cases of divorce are wrong. In the cases of infidelity and abuse, the agreement has already been broken. Adding divorce just acknowledges that the agreement was irreparably broken already.)

Then there is the group which believes that gays are "converting" heterosexual children. The first time I heard this I almost wet myself, I was laughing so hard. obviously they are beyond ignorant since studies have proven that there are physiological differences between those who are straight and those who are not. And many of these same people are buying their children violent video games and letting them watch gratuitously violent movies. Because, well, hacking someone to pieces is so much more acceptable than allowing someone to do what they want in the privacy of their own home.

Since the recent study has come out proving that those who are most outspoken against homosexuality are most likely to harboring homosexual tendencies, You would think they would not protest so much. But really, this is what it boils down to -

Working on it....

Day of Remembrance

This was an angry day. I was upset about everything from the state of the world's economy to the destruction of the rain forest. Very few topics were avoiding my ranty rage. But then I remembered what today is.

Today is Memorial Day. The Day to remember all those who sacrificed themselves in the name of their country. I support and honor those that are sacrificing now.

But this should also be regarded as a day of peace. A day to remind us that they shouldn't have to make that sacrifice. Peace is not easy. I know that far too well. But it is possible. Today I offer a variety of images hoping to add a little bit of the Buddha to your day..

photos courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

God's Will?

One of the most beautiful natural places on this planet has to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I haven't been there very many times (it is quite a drive for me), but each time has been wonder. There are natural formations of rock there that are not existent in any other part of the world. The Tahquamenon Falls, made famous by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's poem "Hiawatha", is alone worth the trip.

A few days ago I learned that a fire had started in this area. It was spreading rapidly and by yesterday had consumed approximately 21,000 acres of forest. That is 21,000 of my lot. It is 263 of the government owned forest surrounding me. And it is 25 Central Parks. Simply put, it is a lot of land, An 11 mile stretch. Luckily it is a very sparsely populated area. Less than 100 people needed to be evacuated, no one died, and last I knew only 20 buildings had been destroyed.



 
Then I heard it-

"Why would God do something like that?" (At this point I need to say that when I mention "God" it is more in reference to what the most prevalent view is. There will be more on my beliefs and names at a later date)

It is something said everyday in all sorts of situations. Usually in response to an accident or death. I do believe that somethings are preordained. But preordained from our pre-birth decisions (again, more on that at a later date). It is OUR will, Not God's.


In times of trouble it is easy for even the most religious to forget, God gave us free will. And, for the most part, God said he (or she, depending on your beliefs) wasn't going to interfere any longer. A person could say "Well, what's the point in praying if God isn't going to get involved?". But that is an exercise of free will to pray. And if you are praying for something to be done, then God is not interfering. He is delivering an order, so to speak.


Take for example, a car accident. Imagine that a friend was injured when a drunk driver hit her car. God didn't do that. It was a combination of both the friend and the drunk deciding to drive that way and the decision of the other driver to drink. Suppose a woman is having repeat miscarriages because there is a genetic medical condition making the father's DNA incompatible with the mother's environment. That isn't God's will. It is would-be parents for making the choice to attempt to conceive. And one could argue that it is the would-be parent's parents for passing on the genetic material by producing offspring. That is human free will.

Even a forest fire caused by a lightning strike can be attributed to man's will. There was a time when Native Americans took great care and diligence in maintaining a sustainable and balanced forestry system. Yearly controlled burns cleared the flammable underbrush. This area was long due for a clearing. All the underbrush acted like newspaper under a campfire and traveled quickly through the forest. The result was State of Emergency declared from man's will to not maintain a proper ecosystem suitable for supporting human and forest cooperation.

Western Society is especially prone to blaming others and not taking personal responsibility for one's own actions. It is easier to be angry with others than to be angry with ourselves. But learning to accept responsibility for our own actions is one of the keys to getting out of the mire our society is in. While we are so busy blaming others we are not working on ourselves. Our ability to develop compassion and empathy are greatly reduced. We cease to grow. We cease to evolve into a better person. We cease to learn from our mistakes.


The next time something uncomfortable happens in your life, do not blame God. Evaluate what decisions brought you to the place where you are. It is sometimes a painful place to be, but out of pain comes strength.

Why I'm doing this....

What we think, we become. -Buddha

I'm too angry. I don't want to be angry. It is turning me into an ugly person. Hopefully I'm going to be able to sort myself out a little here.

That's why I'm doing this.

Deep breaths.....

Given my irritation and frustration released in today's earlier post, I think I need to read a bit. I'm going to start An Open Heart by The Dalai Lama. I'll let you know how it goes.

Militant Mommyism (it is an angry day)

Forget Socialism, Forget Fascism. There's a new threat in town. Militant Moms who are hell bent on telling you that YOU are mothering wrong. No matter what you are doing, if it isn't what they are doing, you are doing it WRONG! No matter the love you give, no matter the closeness you have with your child, if you aren't co-sleeping with your child and nursing them until they are 17, you are WRONG.

You just told her that it is possible to smother your baby while co-sleeping

I'm not saying that breastfeeding your child isn't good for them. Almost all Dr's agree that breastfeeding until age 2, or even age 3, is good for the baby. In both bonding and for health. VERY FEW say there are ANY advantages over that age. Unless of course you are snowed in and are completely out of food. Some breast milk would certainly come in handy then.


This has become quite a hot button issue lately. The recent cover photo on TIME magazine displayed a militant milker in a pose that challenges anyone to confront her. The cover also implies that if you aren't letting your nearly 4 year old suckle at the teat, you are not a good enough mom. I wonder how her son is going to feel about that photo when he is a teenager, or adult.

"Thanks Mom for exploiting me for your cause! I really enjoyed all the taunting and whispers throughout my entire school career!"

I know a man who was breast fed until he was 5. He remembers it well. And not fondly. He will admit (only to those he is very close to) that it haunts him. He is tortured by it. He has never been in a stable long term relationship and he has no relationship with his mom. He can't stand to look at her. They haven't spoken in years.

Some things can never be un-seen.

Of course that isn't going to be the case with everyone. But why risk it when, for most children, it has no health benefit beyond age 3? I've found that there is ONE answer true in many cases. Its for the mom. The mother has attachment issues. The mother has issues with her baby growing up. And for some, they get off on it. It is not uncommon for a woman to have an orgasm during breastfeeding. That is quite some motivation to keep going.

And at this point I would suggest a trip to your local pharmacy for a vibrator. They sell them next to the condoms.

Look! They have vibrators on Amazon now! :D

If parents took the time (or cared) to look at how they are affecting their child's future as an ADULT, maybe there wouldn't be so many messed up people. Or maybe they would have more options as adults.

Which leads me to names.

Almost invariably people name their child something they personally like, no matter the consequence. Think about the people who have named their sons ESPN. Some parents pick a trendy name, like how a few years ago a singer named his daughter "heaven" backwards (someone named after a backwards heaven.... Hmmm... Sounds like a .... Good idea?). Suddenly the nation was crawling with little Nevaehs.

Take into consideration how this affects the child as an Adult. Your Adult daughter finished graduate school and is attempting to get a very high paying, high profile management position. She would be thrown in with the "boys club" at a company previously dominated by men. She wants to be the trailblazer. She, along with 200 other bright and hopeful applicants, sends in her resume. The HR person has only a few seconds to spend on a cursory review to separate resumes, the "let's read again" and the "so sorry"s. Which do you think goes into the so sorry pile, Amanda Nicole Doe or Nevaeh Star Doe?

There is no one right way to raise a child but there are a million wrong ways. Give your kid a chance. Think less for yourself and more for your child's future.

Laundromatic Meditation

Those who have never been to laundromat with front loading washers probably won't see the connection here. But the laundromat can be a very relaxing and meditative place.

There is just something about sitting in front of the washer's window, watching the suds build, and, (if you have something new that's bleeding) the slight color change. The gentle swirling of the delicates that invariably come to the most obvious and visual front of the window. The white noise of the spin cycle.

The next time you are at a laundromat, spend some time in front of the washer. Take some deep breaths and let the world outside disappear for 23 minutes.

Elephant Tao...

This is me.

There are so many things buzzing in my head that I need to get out. Those I'm closest too (very few) are getting pretty tired of hearing it. I can't write these things on my facebook because there are some things that you just don't want family and friends to know. And I have some pretty strong opinions that NEED TO COME OUT lest they drive me crazy. So I'll let them out. To you. My imaginary audience.

You see, (as the name suggests) I'm on a journey. You could call it the cliche "finding yourself". I have never been a person to fit in. Nothing seems right. I've been to so many churches and services of different religions and nothing clicks. But I do know I want to further explore my spirit-ness.

HOWEVER, I have a problem. My deep self wants to be peaceful and zen. Like Jesus or Buddha. But my deeper self is angry. Angry at social injustice. Angry at partisan politics. Angry at people who don't ever seem to THINK. And pretty much Angry At The World. I don't know how to reconcile these two halves.

(Current State of Mind as a Venn Diagram):

So to let it all out, I have been contemplating writing a blog for some time now. I think I just assumed I wasn't good enough. My grammar is atrocious. I'm probably not very interesting. Why write it if no one will want to read it?

Then the answer hit me.

I'll read it.


And I can use it to organize my thoughts. To review them at a later date. And really just act as a release valve.


So, part political rant, part social commentary, part religious research and a big part soul searching. That's my blog.Or at least it is the original intent for the blog. As I evolve, so may it.

And if you happen to find me by some sort of luck or ill- Hello. Welcome to my madness.


P.S. The picture is of a former Insane Asylum I like to visit. (nice hiking trails)